Opinions Expressed in "Rants," while informed by Catholic doctrine, are merely the opinions of the author.

So if I had to pick, I guess I would be “Team Jacob.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no “Twilight” die-hard fan.  The story is intriguing enough I suppose, although definitely intended for teenage girls (of which I am not) – nonetheless, it is of benefit, even for me, to be in touch with my teenage girl side…

But there’s nothing I would like more then to see Edward Cullen run into Blade sometime…

The story does have some strengths, particularly as the drama unfolds into the latest chapter in a theatre near you, “Eclipse,” part 3 of the series.  In this chapter we see our hero, 18 year old Bella, caught between the love of Edward, the Vampire, and Jacob, the wolf boy (and I don’t call him werewolf for some important reasons to the story).   She loves them both, in different ways, for different reasons, and essentially because they seem to hate each other so much, finds herself in a situation of having to choose one or the other.

And this is an element that rings true in this story – many teenage girls that I have known through the years often find themselves caught between two guys, often with diametrically opposing personalities.  This is a story that many young girls will relate to. 

Also true is that many girls find themselves more attracted to the fantasy heart-throb dream-boat bad-boy (Edward) whose ideal could never live up to any reality in this world, over a more down-to-earth, less threatening, comfortable friend, who asks less of the girl, but perhaps because he is more attainable to her, is therefore less DESIREABLE to her (Jacob).  This also rings true.

Unfortunately all this ringing true will be (SPOILER ALERT) completely undone by part 4 of the series, “Breaking Dawn,” and the WEIRD resolution to Bella’s dilemma that it portrays – and that’s all I’ll say…

So why am I “Team Jacob” as many teenage and tween-age girls label themselves, devotees to the hope of Bella ending up with him rather than Edward?  This is opposed to the corresponding “Team Edward” – you can figure it out.  Many choose one over the other on the basis of “cuteness” of Taylor Lautner or Robert Pattinson respectively.

Others more informed and mature (like myself) notice very basic realities that are present in Bella’s relationship with Jacob vs. Edward.  Edward controls Bella; Jacob empowers her.  Edward stalks her; Jacob trusts her.  Edward is perfect; Jacob is real.  Edward is cold; Jacob is warm.  Edward will keep Bella frozen in time forever, exclusively with him; Jacob will allow Bella to grow, to change, to stay connected to family and community, to realize a life that isn’t some artificial pristine fantasy existence that DOESN’T EXIST. 

That’s a better message for an average teenage girl, if you ask me.

And lets not forget what a VAMPIRE actually is – by that I mean symbolically.  This goes back to Bram Stoker and earlier – the Vampire represents desire for sexuality that is inherently unhealthy, for that idealized, dangerous bad-guy (or girl), which only ends up figuratively sucking the life out of us, taking our identity, disempowering us, taking away our reason, our self-control, our very lives.

If you ask me, this is how the Twilight series should end.  Edward, being this unattainable ideal that he is, should eventually sacrifice his life for Bella – that’s what idealized heroes are supposed to do after all - destroying the Volturi, or something like that – the Cullen family should be right in there with him, all dying melodramatically romanticized deaths that correspond with their lives – and with all the vampires gone, the wolves would then lose their ability to shapeshift and become normal people again – meanwhile Bella will realize that Jacob is so much better for her than Edward ever was anyway, and she’ll come back to reality, as ALL TEENAGE GIRLS EVENTUALLY DO – and Bella and Jacob can live happily ever after for about 60 more years and eventually die of old age.  The end.

I wonder if it will turn out that way?

Still, Jacob was a TOOL when he forced his kiss on her like that – what a jerk.  To heck with him too – he needs to grow up.

Too bad there isn’t a “TEAM GO PICK SOMEBODY ELSE.”  I wonder why this possibility never occurred to anyone?